


Midnight Pains

by terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Menstruation, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8561011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi/pseuds/terushimaYUUcrankthatsouljaboi
Summary: Terushima wakes up bleeding - Ushijima is a good boyfriend.





	

Terushima woke up to a dull ache in his lower abdomen. At first he wasn’t quite sure why he had woken up so quickly, normally he never woke up at night and it took him a while to open his eyes when he had to. The constant pain echoing underneath his stomach and the stiff muscles in his lower back that pulled when he turned over told him his period had started.

 

He closed his eyes and tried to fall back asleep, thinking he could put off dealing with it until the morning, but the pain just got steadily worse until he was wincing and pulling his knees into his chest involuntarily to gain some modicum of relief. Trying not to wake the sleeping body passed out beside him Terushima slipped out of the covers and padded into the kitchen. The pain made him whimper softly as he stretched his hand up to grab a bottle of painkillers off the shelf. It came in small waves now, every so often the crest of pain would make him grimace and hold onto the edge of the counter tightly as he breathed slowly and waited for it to die down again. As it receded for a bit he was able to grab the rice filled pillow he kept near the microwave for these reasons and stick it in, putting a timer on for three minutes.

 

Pain made him slow, as if he were sick and everything was fuzzy or when he had an extra long practice and needed to soak in the tub to relieve his sore muscles. His hands shook as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water, enough to down a few pills and put it back in the sink. Another wave of pain began to rise and Terushima heard the drone of the microwave in the background as he sunk to the floor, the tile cool under his cheek, and curled up again, moaning softly at each small stab to his belly.

 

“Yuuji?” A deep voice that sounded soft and sleepy came from the entrance to the bedroom. Terushima whined and opened his eyes. Tall broad shoulders and a shirtless chest came into view as his boyfriend stepped into the kitchen light, his eyes squinting. “Are you okay?” He asked, his normally monotone voice tilting up at the end with worry.

 

Terushima’s head sunk back to the floor and he closed his eyes again, vaguely registering the microwave beeping as it finished. “I didn’t mean to wake you…” he said in a tense voice, another wave of pain coming faster and lasting longer this time. “I’m sorry Toshi.” Ushijima stepped closer to him and crouched down, placing a large hand on his shoulder. “Is it…?”

 

Terushima nodded and winced again. “Cramps, they’re bad this time.” Ushijima frowned, his brow furrowing at the sight of his boyfriend in pain on his kitchen floor. “Did you take some medicine?” Terushima nodded. Ushijima’s eyes flicked from his face down to his knees and stomach and then back up. “Do you need to change?” Another nod.

 

Ushijima squeezed his shoulder gently and stood back up. “Stay there.” He commanded, the finality in his voice making Terushima sigh and attempt to get up. “It’s fine I can-”

 

“Stay Yuuji.” Terushima melted at his name, pausing halfway up before sinking back down again. Ushijima grunted approval at his obedience and disappeared into the bedroom. Another big wave. The medicine never worked quickly enough for him. Although this was the first in a long time of extremely bad cramps, Terushima knows they can only get worse. His muscles contract in protest as he rocks on the floor, holding his knees close to his body, the pain coming worse this time and feeling like his lower belly has been stabbed by a huge kitchen knife. His pain drunk brain catches onto this thought and every time another wave hits, they’re coming faster now, the image of a huge chopping knife entering his body at the point of agony pops into his head.

 

A warm hand on his back tells him Ushijima has returned and his eyes open. “Can you walk?” Ushijima asks, his eyes soft as he watches Terushima’s face. He nods, “I think so.”

 

His rock solid boyfriend is a blessing as he stands still, letting Terushima hang onto his arm and pull himself up, gripping under his shoulder and helping him stand. “Here.” He says, holding out a folded bunch of clothes, underwear and a soft shirt and boxers. “Thank you.” Terushima almost whispers before limping to the bathroom. His mind convulses with the thought of having to do this but he steels himself and strips off his soiled pants and underwear, tossing them to the side, and cleaning himself up enough to put a clean pad in his clean clothes and tug them on. Having gone through this procedure enough, his brain conjures up random thoughts so he doesn’t have to concentrate on the task at hand, his fingers moving automatically to unwrap and toss and strip and pull back on.

 

The shirt is Ushijima’s, whether he grabbed it by mistake or on purpose Terushima doesn’t know but he appreciates it as he breathes in the comforting scent and sighs. He leaves his clothes in a heap, telling himself he’ll pick them up tomorrow as he fights to keep disgust from bubbling up in his stomach. Another wave of pain hits him as he washes his hands, making him double over against the sink and bite his lip so as not to cry out and worry Ushijima more than he already was.

 

Terushima steps back into the kitchen and is met with the smell of ginger and the sound of the kettle boiling. Ushijima is leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He looks up when he sees Terushima walk in and his face softens. To anyone else Ushijima doesn’t show emotion at all but to those who know him, and especially to Terushima, his eyes are extremely telling. They scan his body and meet his eyes again before holding out the rice pillow, now wrapped in a towel and radiating heat. “Go back to bed Yuuji, I’ll bring you tea.”

 

Terushima accepts the pillow and closes the distance between them, pressing his hands between his body and Ushijima’s chest and nuzzling his skin. “Thank you Toshi.” He whispers, and he feels arms wrap around him and lips pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You are welcome.”

 

Terushima releases his boyfriend and hobbles back to their bedroom. He slips under the covers, still warm and comfortable, and folds his body in half, placing the pillow against his abdomen. Relief at the heat now pulsing through his stomach washes through his body and almost immediately he relaxes. His thighs hold the pillow against him and he sinks into the pillow and mattress as the cramps lessen their attack.

 

His mind turns inward. It focuses on the pain, the cramps, the dirty feeling that comes with perpetual bleeding, the feeling of wrongness. As the cramps fade his thoughts swirl with a sick intensity. Men don’t have periods, men don’t have periods, men don’t- you’re not a man, his brain tells him. Air catches in his lungs and he can’t breathe, suddenly noticing the leaking feeling coming from between his legs. His body convulses with grosswrongwrongdirtywrong- he can’t breathe, can’t breathe and wants to vomit up everything.

 

He barely feels the bed shift as Ushijima sits down on its edge. “Yuuji?” His voice is still deep, but soft and scratchy hinting at sleep. Terushima squeezes his eyes shut, as if Ushijima won’t notice how wrong he is, how dirty and gross and disgusting he is- “Yuuji, look at me.” He can’t, he can’t let him see- “Breathe.”

 

That command is enough to cut through his thoughts and jolt him into sucking in air like it’s his last breath. His lungs are moving too fast but there’s a heavy hand resting on his back now moving slowly and calmly and then he’s being pulled over and into arms that encircle him and hold firmly. “Breathe Yuuji, deep breaths please.”

 

The calm tone of Ushijima’s voice sinks into Terushima’s bones and settles there. His thoughts are muted by the awareness of large hands on his sides and back, rubbing softly. Ushijima says nothing else but his presence is enough. His hands say I’ve got you, don’t worry. Terushima’s breathing slows until he can finally fill his lungs normally and open his eyes. Concerned eyes are staring into his own and Terushima wilts under the scrutiny. “I’m sorry…” He croaks out, embarrassed at having yet another panic attack and subjecting his boyfriend to his stupid issues. Lips press against his temple and the sweetness in the gesture makes something inside his heart blossom. “Do not apologize. Drink your tea.”

 

Ushijima is quick to place a pillow behind his back so he can rest against the wall as his hands are filled with a hot cup of steaming tea. Those olive colored eyes watch him closely as he sips his tea, before Terushima sighs and holds out his hand.

 

“C’mere Toshi.”

 

Ushijima crawls under their covers, moving gracefully for such a large person, and puts his arm gently around Terushima’s shoulders. Terushima closes his eyes and snuggles closer, resting his head on Ushijima’s chest. He listens to Ushijima’s heartbeat and his slow breathing as he sips at his warm tea, feeling the pain subsiding in the wake of the heat and meds. “Toshi?” He says quietly.

 

“Yes?” Ushijima replies in the same tone as before.

 

“You’re the best boyfriend ever.”

 

Ushijima hums his appreciation, lifting his hand to run it through Terushima’s messy hair and scratch his scalp. Terushima sighs and relaxes back into him, feeling his body heat pressing against his side and smiling.

 

His mind is ignoring the black wave of dysphoria that will hit him tomorrow but for right now, safe and comfortable in his boyfriend’s arms, he is content.


End file.
